Where Does All the Battery Go?
In our last blog, we explored how capacity can be like a phone battery. We all have things that use our battery throughout the day—learning, navigating sensory experiences, managing emotions, and adapting to change. But some battery users are hidden!
Imagine spending your day constantly thinking about things that others may do, with little or no conscious effort...
Monitoring eye contact — Am I looking enough? Am I staring? Where am I supposed to look?
Stopping yourself from interrupting while trying not to forget what you wanted to say.
Monitoring how much you're talking — Am I talking too much or too little? Have I talked about this for too long?
Trying to keep your body still when moving or stimming helps you regulate or concentrate.
Trying to look like you're paying attention while simultaneously filtering distractions and keeping track of what is being said.
Working out when and how to join a conversation — watching others for the right moment, then planning what to say.
Hiding sensory discomfort — tolerating noise, lights, smells, touch or busy environments while trying to appear unaffected.
Monitoring facial expression, tone and reactions — Did I sound rude? Should I smile? Did they take that the wrong way?
Suppressing excitement, emotions or natural responses because you've learnt they can be perceived as "too much."
Watching and copying what everyone else is doing when you're unsure what's expected rather than letting others know you're confused.
For many autistic people, this isn't something they consciously decide to do. It can also happen automatically after years of trying to fit in.
This hidden effort is often referred to as masking.
Masking can look different from person to person. It might involve suppressing natural behaviours, copying how other people communicate, rehearsing conversations, forcing yourself through uncomfortable situations, or constantly monitoring how you're coming across to others. Masking can help neurodivergent people fit in, build social connections, avoid bullying or negative judgement, feel safer, and navigate opportunities such as school or employment — but they also come at a cost.
Imagine doing this once — it may not take much energy. Now, imagine monitoring several of these things, at the same time, for six hours at school or eight hours at work.
Every moment spent monitoring yourself is a moment your battery is being used. By the end of the day, the battery hasn't simply disappeared. It has been quietly used by effort that many people never see!
Remember the duck: calm above the water, paddling underneath. Sometimes "coping well" is simply what we can see above the water. The paddling underneath may still be using a lot of battery/ energy.
